


Mending Bones

by meqhanory



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-04-01 01:36:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4001008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meqhanory/pseuds/meqhanory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When she felt the gentle grip and shake of her arm, Raven refused to budge. She was not a morning person, never had been, and at least in sleep she could avoid the reality of the world they had been thrusted into. </p>
<p>For Doctor Mechanic Angst Day. Based off the prompt: "raven and abby + 'you need to wake up because i can’t do this without you'"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mending Bones

When she felt the gentle grip and shake of her arm, Raven refused to budge. She was not a morning person, never had been, and at least in sleep she could avoid the reality of the world they had been thrusted into.

“Raven, you need to wake up,” she hears whispered to her, the grip tighter on her arm to the point that she feels nails beginning to dig into her skin.

Her eyes open slightly, the gloomy light beginning to fill her eyes and she squints slightly before turning to face where the voice had come from. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she sees Abby’s face. There are stains against her cheeks, and her eyes are red and swollen from a mix of no sleep and crying.

She watches Abby try to find words, and it makes her heart ache all over again. Raven knew today would be hard for everyone, but especially Abby. She had stayed in her tent the previous night just to keep her company after the other woman had whispered how she didn’t want to be alone.

A knot formed in her throat as Abby finally spoke.

“I can’t do this without you,” the once chancellor finally breathes out, voice cracked and wet with the remnants of her earlier crying.

Sitting up, Raven nods, wrapping her arms tightly around Abby. She feels Abby shake in her arms, and part of her wants to tell Abby to let it go, but she knows that’s all Abby has been doing.

“You won’t have to,” Raven says after a moment, arms tightening when she feels tears hit her bare shoulders.

 

* * *

 

Raven would be lying if she said she wasn’t shocked by just how many people were. The funeral pyre was stacked high and from where she stood with Abby, and she couldn’t begin to count the number of people that surrounded it. Grounder and sky people alike had gathered for the funeral, and Raven couldn’t help but think that this is exactly what Clarke would’ve wanted.

When news of Clarke’s death had hit Camp Jaha, it was from Lexa herself. A group of her warriors had been out and they had found Clarke’s body laid near their borders, as though it were a gift rather than a threat and break in the treaty. Murdered for the death of two of the Ice Nation’s high officials during the bombing of TonDC, Lexa said they were lucky that Clarke was all in one piece.

_Is it really luck if she’s still dead?_

At first, Lexa had refused to let anyone, especially Abby, see Clarke’s body. Everyone had assumed it was out of malice after the truce breaking at Mount Weather. However, it became obvious it was to spare Abby the gruesome sight of her daughter’s mangled body when Lexa relented. It was Gustus all over again, but the wounds were so much deeper and Abby just screamed at the sight. A scream, if you could call it that, that was heard through all of Camp Jaha. A scream that probably fit better under the definition of a cry.

Their leader was gone, and everyone had gathered to send her off. For a moment, Raven hoped that the grounders had been right. Reincarnation was real and Clarke would come back and would actually be able to live out her life, someday. She had never been religious, but if it meant that Clarke would eventually get the life she deserved, Raven had to hold onto it.

A torch was held in Lexa’s hand, and her eyes glanced over to Abby. Raven felt a sense of deja vu in it all, almost an identical scene to when Finn had been put to rest. But instead of Clarke standing there it’s Abby, their expressions mirror images of each other. There are no tears, just a stoic and expressionless face.

Lexa licks her lips, and Raven watches as both the commander and Abby lock eyes. There’s so much said in it gaze, even though the mechanic can’t decipher it.

Lexa hands Abby the torch and nods towards the pyre, and Raven feels her stomach churn and she grips it. Her nails digging into her skin is a welcome sensation, because physical pain, or any other feeling, is better than what she’s feeling right now. It’s better than the feeling she gets as she watches Abby’s lips move inaudibly as the fire ignites the pyre, flames slowly engulfing it in its entirety.

As the fire burns and the smell of burning flesh hits the air, people leave one by one. The crowd on thousands slowly becomes a crowd of hundreds to just a crowd of tens. The last ones to leave are the Blake siblings, Lincoln, and Lexa, who stare into the fire. Bellamy has his arm tightly wrapped around Octavia, who’s freely letting the tears stream down her cheeks. Lincoln holds her hand, and Raven can, barely but still, see his hand flex every so often in comfort and support. Lexa’s eyes are cold and there’s so much anger within them, but for who, Raven cannot be sure. They too leave after awhile, when the sun has shifted and it’s evident that night will be upon them soon.

Raven stays though, standing next to Abby who hasn’t moved much at all as the pyre becomes burnt wood and human ashes. Part of Raven wants to yell at them, because how could Clarke have been so stupid and left with nothing but a gun that only Raven could make bullets for? She’s angry at the Ice Nation for being so vengeful that killing the person who rid them all of the Mountain Men seemed like the only option. Over murders Clarke could’ve never prevented. She wants to scream at Clarke for leaving all of them and Raven can’t help but feel her heart squeeze at the realization that yet another person she loves is dead and nothing can change that.

She feels the tears begin to slip down her cheeks and she furiously wipes them away before looking to Abby. She doesn’t look back, and Raven reaches out to place a hand on her shoulder. Abby jumps, as though brought out of a trance, and looks to Raven. She looks stunned that Raven is still there, but she promised Abby she wouldn’t be alone in this. But the redness is returning to Abby’s eyes and tears are brimming them and Raven is dying to reach out and touch her again, offer her some form of comfort. But after a moment, Abby straightens her spine and clears her throat, and Raven realizes Abby doesn’t want it, not now.

“We should get back to the camp, it’s going to be dark soon.” Her voice is so calm and steady, Raven wouldn’t have been able to tell how Abby actually felt if it weren’t for how her eyes betrayed her.

Nodding, Raven licks her lips and rubs the back of her neck. “Are you going to the wake?”

Abby shrugs before moving past Raven, running her fingers through part of her hair. It’s only then that Raven notices just how much like Clarke’s hair it is. It makes Raven’s heart hurt that much more.

 

* * *

 

She’s sure this is what Clarke had hoped for when she had left Camp Jaha months ago. Everyone gathered together, drinking and laughing, despite the looming thoughts of war and the fact that the one who brought them all together was gone. Raven can’t help but smile slightly at the idea of Clarke being able to see this, at least in some way.

_I hope you are, you idiot._

Her eyes move around the camp from her position near what was left of the Ark. She couldn’t see perfectly well, but there were enough fires around that she could make out enough of the main points. In one area, Bellamy and Lincoln were chatting, smiling and nodding their heads while Octavia rolled her eyes at whatever they were saying. In another, Jasper and Monty were talking with some of the female warriors from TonDC. Even Indra was still around, talking to Kane and Lexa, and Raven could easily assume it was about the war that was sure to follow this night.

Though she could see most of Camp Jaha and even quite a few of the Tree People who remained, there was no sign of Abby. She hadn’t seen Abby since they had both come back from the funeral pyre, but that had been several hours ago. The worry that crept over her was instant, eyes sweeping the patches of people in hopes of seeing her within them, or at least off in a corner by herself.

Moving off the cool metal of the Ark, Raven moves in the background, away from the small clusters of people that surround the fires nearby. She doesn’t want to be seen, mostly because she’s been avoiding people for the question she’s sure they’ll ask: “How’s Abby holding up?” And the reason Raven dreads it so much is because she’s not entirely sure. She can assume Abby’s a wreck, but she has been trying so hard to give Abby a mix of space and closeness within the last two days that she’s not sure how Abby is feeling. She can recall her face after Jake died on the Ark, but even then, Abby was ever stoic.

_Like mother like daughter._

Making her way to Abby’s tent, Raven is cautious as she pulls aside the flimsy bit that has been claimed as a door, peeking her head inside. Abby’s head was down, and Raven thinks for a moment that she hasn’t been spotted. Abby doesn’t look up and there’s something in her hand, her gaze transfixed to it. Moving in slowly, Raven makes her way towards Abby, careful and steady, attempting to look at whatever was in her hand.

Shifting behind the seat Abby was at, Raven looks over her shoulder, and part of her is sure this is what she expected to see but it hurt all the same.

The photo had seen better times, that was certain. The worn photograph was folded in two places, white lines standing out against the rest of the scene. But the happy smiles on everyone’s faces, they stood out even more. Jake’s arm was tightly wrapped around Abby’s waist, and he was pressing a kiss against her cheek. Clarke was smaller, and if Raven had to guess she was probably only eight in the photo. She had a wide smile, her two front teeth missing and her arms in the air. And Abby, Raven wasn’t even sure she had ever seen a smile so bright on the woman’s face before. Her eyes were shut, probably from the shock of the kiss Jake was pressing to her cheek. Regardless, it was obvious: they were all happy. The Griffin family, whole on the Ark. But now Abby was all that was left.

“Unity day,” Abby says softly, placing the photo down on a small, makeshift table. “Jake had found an old camera with some film in it. I couldn’t actually believe it when he managed to develop the photo.”

Placing a hand on her shoulder, Raven squeezes. “You guys look happy.”

“We were,” she replies, hand reaching up and gripping Raven’s hand that rested on her shoulder.

They were quiet for a moment, but then Abby stood and turned to face Raven. They were close, enough to where Raven could make out the finer details of Abby’s eyes and lips. Her eyes were locked with dark brown ones, but Raven couldn’t read whatever was behind them. They were guarded and there were so many things Raven wanted to ask in that moment. But then Abby’s lips were on hers and those questions became nothing but white noise.

The kiss was rough and desperate. Abby’s fingers reaching and pulling the hair tie out of Raven’s hair. The tug on her head is harsh and hurried and it causes Raven to cry out against Abby’s lips as her hair falls down her back. Her fingers grip Abby’s shirt, pulling the woman ever closer as teeth hit teeth and tongues duel in a game of faux dominance.

She doesn’t realize she’s being pushed back until she nearly trips on the mattress on the ground. It’s then that Raven pulls back, releasing her grip on Abby’s shirt and letting her hands instead rest on tense biceps. Abby leans in for more, but she turns her head and instead lips just fall against her jaw and move down her neck.

Things are so fragile and whatever  _this_ is is just beginning. Every step and choice Raven makes within these few minutes will change whatever relationship she has with Abby, because they are something so much more than friends. However this was the first time she’d ever felt the lips she’s craved on her own and she isn’t sure if it’s right to do this now. But there probably never would be a right time for them, so did it matter?

“Abby,” Raven says softly, brushing her forehead against the other woman’s, removing Abby’s lips from her skin. She misses the sensation instantly but she also can’t indulge in something that will mean nothing. Not now, not when she needs something more sustainable than a warm body for a lonely night.

Abby’s finger are tangling into Raven’s hair, and it takes everything within her not to shudder at the touch.

“Please,” Abby pleads, fingers tracing at the base of Raven’s hairline. “Please, just touch me.”

Raven’s eyes fall shut at the woman’s words, because they’re so desperate and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t needing this too. She was at such a loss, and the only thing grounding her is Abby. Abby’s touch, it was  _home_.

Raven bites her bottom lip, an attempt to keep from kissing Abby again. “But-”

Abby is quick to dart her lips forward, stealing a kiss and Raven’s knees feel weak at the gentleness in it.

“I need to feel something,” she whispers. “Something other than  _this_.”

She pulls back slightly, hands moving to cup Abby’s cheeks. Her eyes scan over Abby’s face, and she can see the desperate need. Not for sex, but to feel something, anything, but this darkness and pain of her daughter being gone. She knows it, she had the same plea when Finn died. It never solved anything, it didn’t make the pain go away, and it made the pain all the more obvious after the high.

“It won’t change anything.”

“No,” Abby agrees. “But at least I won’t remember for thirty seconds.”

Raven still hesitates, and Abby’s fingers untangle from Raven’s hair to grip her wrists. She brings one towards her lips, pressing a gentle kiss to the inside of it.

“I know you feel it too,” Abby breathes against tender skin.

For a moment, Raven is taken aback. She actually wasn’t entirely sure Abby had felt the same, and believed that the development of feelings she had seen was only one sided. But Abby’s words, even in time of need, were honest.

“Please,” the older woman asks once more, tear filled eyes locking with hers.

Her thumb traces along Abby’s cheek and down to her lips. It moves slowly across the sensitive skin, and Abby presses a gentle kiss to the pad of her finger. They stay like that for a moment, with Raven tracing jawline and lips until she finally nods.

“Okay,” she says softly, leaning forward and locking her lips with Abby’s once again.

It’s different than the first kiss, which was full of desperation and need. This was softer, more tender, but Raven still struggled to breathe around it. She feels fingers tangle back into her hair, almost as if it were a safety net of sorts.

She pulls back for a moment, suddenly feeling constricted, and pulled her shirt over her head. Abby was quick to follow suit and their lips were attached again. The feeling of Abby’s skin against her own was enough to make her head spin, and knowing that this wasn’t even all of it against her, she was sure she’d ignite from the thought of the feeling alone.

Raven maneuvers them down carefully, attempting to maintain contact and also not fall onto the hard ground rather than the mattress. One hand is reaching behind her, making her she’s coming into contact with the mattress and not the ground, the other on the small of Abby’s back. It’s awkward, especially with her brace, but eventually she’s able to sit on the mattress. Abby’s knees are on either side of her hips, and the feeling of Abby above her makes her blood rush and her heart pound loudly in her ears.

Her nails drag up Abby’s ribcage, and the moan emitted from the other woman’s lips vibrates into her and she thinks it’s the hottest sound she’s ever heard. Finger trace under Abby’s bra, body shivering at the feel of new skin. Everything is just so new and drives her crazy, as new layers of clothing are removed and kisses became deeper and more pleading.

Raven shifts them so Abby is on her back on the mattress, and she pulls back to admire the body below her. Abby’s breathing heavily and her breasts rise and fall with each one, and Raven has to lick suddenly dry lips. She takes the brief moment of them being apart to slip off her brace, careful with its locks.

Abby’s eyes are heavy on her the entire time, but not on Raven’s body. She’s staring at the brace and Raven knows what she’s thinking, because she  _knows_ Abby. Abby blames herself for so many things, Raven’s leg being one of them. When Raven places the brace to the side, her eyes go back to the other woman. Abby’s eyes are once again filled with tears and this time she lets them slip, her mouth opening and desperate for air.

Raven places kisses up her chest and neck, nipping at her jawline before she finally reaches Abby’s ear. “It’s not your fault,” she whispers, which only causes Abby to shake and grasp at Raven for support. “None of it is.”

She’s sure Abby wants to reply, but Raven cuts her off with a kiss to her lips, grinding her hips against the woman beneath her. It’s enough for now, Raven thinks, as Abby unclasps Raven’s bra before tangling finger back into the safety of black hair.

Raven’s hands slip up and down Abby’s sides, the feeling of breasts against breasts and stomach against stomach nearly too much. She moves her hands down to her own shorts, struggling slightly to wiggle out of the tight fabric. For a moment, she swears she hears a laugh emit from Abby in her struggle. A genuine laugh in all of this destruction and pain surrounding them, and Raven swears to herself it’ll be her job to makes that sound happen every damned day.

When she’s free of the shorts, she tosses them aside and kisses down Abby’s neck and chest. When she reaches her torso, she feels an arm tug at her bicep and she stops, looking up. Abby’s eyes are so wet with tears and they’re streaming down her face, teeth biting her bottom lip, and it looks like she isn’t exactly sure how to say what she wants.

“Please, I,” is all she says, and her eyes are begging and Raven feels her heart tug.

Abby doesn’t want Raven to leave her, in any way, and that currently means not leaving Abby’s lips. Perhaps it’s because it’s the only thing that’s grounding her, the same way that Abby’s presence alone grounds Raven.

So she nods and moves right back up to kiss Abby’s lips once again. She tastes the salt of Abby’s tears against them, and Raven tries to let the reason of those tears go away to the back of her mind as she tugs at the jeans on Abby’s hips. The hips raise in attempt to help, and Raven successfully tugs them off and flings them somewhere in the tent.

Raven grinds her hips into Abby’s, feeling wetness through thin fabric and she can’t stop the moan that leaves her throat. She wants to see Abby, taste all of her, but with Abby desperately clinging to her as though she’s the last thing holding her on this planet, Raven decides it better saved for another time.

Her fingers tug off her own panties, before doing the same with Abby’s. Her hand traces the inside of Abby’s thighs while the other props her up to keep her from falling over. She feels Abby’s entire being shiver under her touch, and the other woman breaks the kiss. She presses her cheek against Raven’s, breath hot against her ear.

“Please,” she begs, and Raven feels something break inside of her. She isn’t sure what, but it makes tears she hadn’t known she’d been holding back slip from her eyes.

In response, she just nods before sliding a tentative finger inside wet heat. She hears Abby gasp, and nails dig into her skull as a second finger is slid inside. They move slowly at first, Abby’s fingers loosening her grip in Raven’s hair and move down, gripping her neck and her shoulder blade.

The fingers quickly become desperate, and Raven feels her mind going crazy with the pressure building in her lower abdomen just from touching the other woman. From being inside her, feeling walls clench around her fingers and soft cries echo in her ear. She’s sure that, in another setting, they would be louder. But people are still outside at the wake and all it takes is one misunderstanding for someone to think Abby needs someone and to walk in on what was happening.

When she feels Abby’s thigh slip between her legs and press where she’s most desperate, Raven has to bite down on the former chancellor’s shoulder just to keep from crying out. She grinds against her thigh, feeling nails break skin as Raven scissors her fingers inside of Abby.

The movement of Raven’s hips are quick and desperate, her fingers working just as quickly inside of Abby. This is about Abby and not her, but she’s so close anyway.

Raven pulls back slightly, looking to Abby’s face. Her eyes are shut tight and she’s biting her lip hard enough that the skin is white against her teeth. She’s holding back so much and Raven knows that, even after this, nothing will change. The pain will remain, and it might actually hurt even more.

“Abby,” she says softly, pressing a kiss so gentle on Abby’s lips that it didn’t fit the rest of the scene. “Abby, let go.”

“I-”

“Let  _go_.”

Abby opens her eyes, just for a second, before Raven feels walls clench tightly around her fingers. She leans in quickly, swallowing the moan that’s emitting from Abby’s throat, not wanting to attract attention to the tent. Raven feels her own abdomen flutter and savors her release, fingers digging into the mattress and biting down on Abby’s lower lip.

As Raven feels herself come down from her high, she removes her fingers from Abby, wiping them on the mattress before scanning over the other woman’s face. She knows what’ll happen as soon as the high is gone, because she’s experienced it. The overwhelming wave of realization that the person you cared about is gone and nothing is going to make you feel better. Not even a 30 second high.

When Abby opens her eyes again and looks at Raven, her face crumbles as tears begin pouring down her cheeks. She opens her mouth, desperate for air, and Raven feels tears of her own forming. She’s not sure what for though: Clarke being dead or for the wave of mourning and grief it’s caused, especially to Abby.

“She’s gone,” Abby says after a moment. “She’s gone and-”Abby’s voice cracks and breaks as the tears flow heavily and freely down her cheeks, her hand lift to cover her mouth to keep from crying out.

All Raven can do is brush tears away with her lips and thumb, holding back her own tears. For now, she needs to be strong. She can grieve more later. Right now, Abby needs her, more than she can probably fathom.


End file.
